I remember these days as if it were yesterday, waiting for the subway in the snow, in the rain; boarding a train at 4:30am for the hour or so hike to downtown Manhattan from the second to last stop in the Bronx. Long hours, long days, running through a city where the whole city is moving at a 100 mph and if you're not paying attention it would be very easy to get lost or swallowed up. I remember standing on the platform asking myself 'what am I doing with my life?' and 'would anyone even notice if I didn't show up?'. I quickly figured out that people don't make it in NYC because they can't make enough money; my theory is people don't make it in NYC because they can't develop meaningful relationships with other people on more than a superficial level. Sure they can meet the same people at happy hour, or with their running club, or at a business party, but are they actually going into conversations deeper then work or the gym? Then I realized, it's not only NYC that has this problem, it's everywhere.
We're humans, we desire from the depths of our hearts to be in relationship with others. We desire to be fully known, to be fully loved. We feel empty because we build walls up to keep people out and we end up imprisoning ourselves. We get so comfortable with casual conversation because we don't want to conflict with someone on our beliefs or fear the unkown. We're not confident in who we are and we forget whose we are. My question to you, is how can you know who you are if you don't know whose you are?
It took me a while to figure this one out. To figure out that I am not defined by what others think, or feel, or know about me; I'm not defined by my weight, or my beauty, or my intelligence. My dignity depends on nothing I say or do, my worth cannot increase or decrease; the love I ache for cannot be bought and will not be lost. God has created me perfect in his image, I am fearfully and wonderfully made with a mission that only I have (you too have this). I was made with love, for love; "You are fully known by the author of space and time" (JJ Heller).
How awesome it that? Overflowing with peace and joy, I can fulfill my mission in this world when I recognize that. I can be exactly what God wants me to be because I know that with him all things are possible. A friend of mine recently said, being content is peaceful and priceless. Every day is a battle for me, a complete surrender of the things I want to tell myself to the things God wants me to hear. Each day I wake up and have to remind myself today is the day God will shine through you, that his love will radiate through you because you've finally accepted it!You too, my friends, are fully known and fully loved. What is holding you back? What doubts, fears, questions, struggles do you need to let go of? That ache in your heart, that love you desire the content heart is within reach. Today give yourself permission to believe that!! Dream BIG, God is BIGGER!
--Live Jesus--
