God is love. A phrase I
hear all the time, a phrase I often tell my teens, a phrase that I will never grow
old of hearing. It’s one of my favorite
bible verses, 1 John 4:8, because it precedes my favorite one, 1 John
4:18. Today, though, it’s followed by
the Gospel of Mark when Jesus feeds over 5,000 people.
A new year often brings reflection and discernment, looking
back over the last year and looking forward to where God is calling me to this
year. 2015 was an adventure to say the
least, as with any year there were joys and sorrows, but as I sneak up on
turning 30 there was also a lot of introspection. What do I want? Am I where I’m supposed to
be? Does my life have meaning? I spent New Year’s Eve in a way I never have
before, in bed by 10:30pm, I know crazy right?
I spent the last hour I was awake though in my prayer closet. I wanted to leave everything that was holding
me back right there at the foot of the cross, everything that made me lesser than
God envisions me.
You see I have a fear of inadequacy, I carry many doubts, I
often run when I should stay, I’m constantly on the go, because I’m scared to face
the silence, the loneliness, the solitude.
But if there is one thing that I realized over Christmas break, it’s
that I am TIRED. Tired of running, tired
of alienating myself because I fear that if people truly knew me they’d go running,
tired of carrying the weight of doubt; and tired of being tired! I’ve lived my personal life, privately,
instead of sharing it with those I most care about. Those days are over. I left them in 2015. I want
to live a life of transparency. “There is no fear in love, but perfect love
drives out fear because fear has to do with punishment, and so one who fears is
not yet perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18
I shouldn’t have
to fear anything because I want to live a life of love. I was reading a blog yesterday
(@intheheartofmyhome), and the author was talking about a word for 2016; a
focal point to encourage you, to challenge you, to move you, and to bring you
peace when starting and ending each day.
I thought ‘what a fantastic idea’ so I spent the good part of yesterday
praying for the right word. I stumbled
across ravish, because I want God’s
love to ravish my heart, but that wasn’t it.
I wrote down desire, because I
realized that I desire love as a response to the desire that God planted in my
heart, but that wasn’t quite it either. Beloved, good, but didn’t feel
right. Remain, because if I remain in him then I will bear much fruit, but
something said to keep looking. I
stumbled across it later in the day, in a conversation with someone, and a
light bulb went on, this is it, abundance.
Abundance: a very
large quantity of something, plentifulness of good things in life,
prosperity. Jesus tells us in John 10:10
“A thief comes only to steal and
slaughter and destroy; I came so that
they might have life and have it more abundantly” You see God doesn’t want me to be in fear, he
doesn’t want me to live only ¾ of my life, he wishes to give me abundant
life. He promises to, but first we must
choose it, we must open our eyes and see that his plan is always at work in our
life, especially when we least expect it!
This year, I will
expect it. I will strive to surrender so
that I too may have an abundant life.
2016 brings me hope, a renewed hope that God is love, and looking at the
Gospel of Mark today he shows us how much he can do with so little. Here’s my mustard seed Lord, let your will be
done! Thank you @elizabethfoss for
encouraging me to find my word! What
word is God giving you this year?
--Live Love--
