Just a Dreamer

"I'm just a dreamer, a believer...I've lost my faith in so many things, but I still believe in you"

-Sanctus Real

When I was growing up, my mind always used to wonder, I guess one might say I was a dreamer.  I often let my mind drift to what was next, where was I going, what was I going to do; I loved to daydream, to think about how life would turn out.  I think everyone does this, some of us more than others.  I would spend hours outside on a clear night looking at the stars, just looking for meaning in this world and hoping that there would be something bigger than myself.  When I was young my dad was gone a lot because of the Marine Corps and when he would leave I would always go out to searching in the sky hoping that he too would be looking at the same stars as I was!

Not much has changed since then, I am still a dreamer; I believe in the underdog and I hope for the hopeless, but something that has changed is my faith.  Somewhere along my crooked and broken path, God grabbed my attention.  I mean he really said ‘are you done yet? When you are, I have so much to tell you’ John 17:3.   I tried many times to run away.  In fact, when I would get lost in thought my dad used to say ‘Go put your bobos on and hit the pavement’ (bobos is another word for shoes in Philly language).  Running was my best language, I wasn’t great at it, but the more I ran the less time I had to think (because I couldn’t breathe)!   As I continued to exercise though, I realized that I was able to let things go and clear my mind.  Many things in this life are here as a distraction or as a way to pass time; to move you from one moment to the next without really thinking about what you’re doing or where you are going, especially since we have whatever we want at the click of a button or swipe of the phone.  I’ve spent a lot of time just cruising through or running away, not noticing how my movements or thoughts affected others until one day a light went on.  I didn’t want to run aimlessly any more.  All my life, whether I was sitting on the beach watching the tide roll in or laying out in the desert in the middle of the night looking for stars, I searched for meaning.  I was searching for something bigger than myself, something that I couldn’t explain, yet something that captivated my soul when I simply gazed at His reflection in His creation.  That something was God.  It is Jesus. 

St. Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 9:24-27 runners in a race run to win a crown.  Most run for a perishable crown, but us an imperishable one.  I train my body so that when I may finish I may not be disqualified.  I realized that was me.  When I played soccer, I played until I was bleeding, sweating, and crawling off the field at the end of the game looking for something the game could not give me. Although many times it was satisfying, I wasn’t full!  There was something more, I longed for something else.  I know the image St. Paul is painting, the image of doing everything you can so that you too may be not disqualified. We are given the opportunity to bring everyone around us to know why we train this way, to enter the narrow gates.  To achieve greatness and to fulfill our destiny of becoming a SAINT!!  One of my favorite quotes from St. Teresa of Avila is “If this is how you treat your friends, it’s no wonder you have so few of them” as she was shaking her fist at God after being thrown from her horse. Shaking her fist at God, can you imagine? She believed so much that God was her friend through it all that she shook her fist at him, I know I've done that once or twice to a friend ;). 

My friends, you too are called to be saints.  We are called to run and not grow weary.  We are called to put all of our hope in a Savior, who on a cross out of complete and unfailing love for you, died.  On the days when life gets too much, run to the cross.  On the days when you just can’t find the stars, run to the cross.  On the days when your heart is bursting full of love, run to the cross.  Jesus wants every detail; every opportunity, every reward, every glory that you have is all because he saw your face before he died on the cross.  He desires you.  He thirsts for YOU. HE LOVES YOU.  Maybe you’ve heard this 1000 times or maybe this is your first time actually believing it, but he wants you.  And most of all he wants to run with you, to be your running mate, so that when your time comes, you too may not be disqualified!!!

Jesus never grew weary.  He’s never stopped chasing me and my prayer is that you too, may run with him!  Dream big. Chase your dreams and know that Christ is right there with you especially when everyone else has left the chase!  You have a purpose and God has so much to tell you, if only you slow down long enough to realize he's been running with you the whole time!!!

--Live Jesus--