Missionary Life - I said Yes!

 “ A thief comes only to steal and slaughter and destroy; I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly.” John 10:10

This is a lot harder than I thought it would be, sitting down to tell everyone that I’ve made the choice to become a Full Time Missionary with LifeTeen.  God has been on a constant pursuit of my heart, since before I was born and throughout my childhood I’m sure, but even surer am I that he has been pursuing me these last 7 years.  A lot has changed, I hit rock bottom, went to grad school (ECU), taught PE for a year (Northern VA), got a certificate in youth ministry, been a full time Youth Minister for the Catholic Church (High Point, NC) for the past 3 years while coaching Crossfit for the last year.  I realize that every day is different, yet the same and God is more concerned about the conversion of my heart than he is about using me to convert the heart of others.  Everyone has a story, but not everyone can see how God is a part of their story. 

In the fall, I will be leaving High Point, NC to become a missionary with LifeTeen in the mountains of Georgia.  I will leave my job, friends, and family to pursue Christ; to pursue his heart in hopes that he will continue to overflow my heart with his love.  I couldn’t be more ecstatic that I have been chosen to continue to impact the lives of teens through prayer and service, leading retreats and living in community.  I went on a Come-and-See weekend in April and on the last day in the chapel God asked me; will you let me love you?  In true Jessie fashion, I simply giggled and said you already do.  I could feel him shaking his head at me and say I’m going to ask you again, will you let me love you?  Yes, of course Lord.  He replied, this is how I want to show you the depths of my love, full time missions. 

You see for me, receiving love is one of the hardest things to do.  I believe with every ounce of my being that we are called to love, but how can we give something we can't receive?   A gift isn't a gift until it is given away.  God gave us his only Son in the Eucharist; today on the feast of the Body and Blood of Christ, we celebrate this fact.  In the Eucharist we receive Christ's love, nourishment, encouragement, strength, and grace to carry us on our journey.  The ultimate sacrifice is to lay down one's life for his friends, Christ does that and leaves his body/blood so that we may always be with him until it time for us to go to heaven.  Praise God!  My word for the year is abundance.  God has shown me nothing but abundance since this year has begun; an abundance of healing, abundance of love, abundance of travel, and he is asking me to continue to trust his abundance, how can I say no? 

St. Stephen's Chapel 

Covecrest, GA

"See, I am doing something new! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? In the wilderness, I make a way, in the wasteland, rivers." Isaiah 43:19

--Live Love--

Increase my capacity

A prayer I often cry to our God, I believe help my unbelief.  There are many situations in this world that leave me dumbfounded, searching for understanding.  In faith though, we don't always get understanding right away (or ever); in fact, we rely on our faith to fill the gap of understanding. Some call it a cop out, others call it trust. Jesus, I trust in you, is another prayer often muttered by me.  

Faith and trust, two of the hardest words in the English language, not necessarily to pronounce, but to authentically live.  To attain a great faith and a high level of trust, I would beg that it takes similar paths, paths that parallel with one another, often coinciding with each other. To grow in our faith we are often asked to trust in the unknown, to step out onto the water as Peter once did, keep our eyes on Christ, and trust where he is guiding us is to glorify him and abundantly bless us.

When was the last time you let your mind wonder or allowed yourself to dream? When was the last time you stepped out of your boat of security, busyness, safety, and said 'Jesus, I trust in You'?  We must condition ourselves to trust, but never put conditions on our trust.  Many times we will pray, Lord, I'll trust you if ______.  We put limits on God, when in reality we are the ones who are limited. We were created with an imagination, in order to be co-redeemers; to think outside of boxes and limitations and to dream with God.  To achieve our dreams, whether it be healing of a child like the Father above asked for or becoming a Professional Football player like Philip Rivers, we must step out into the unknown to trust and believe (faith) that God, creator of the universe mind you, desires our utmost joy and happiness.


Today, while at a funeral Mass, my imagination got the best of me.  Often times I sit in Mass and try to imagine heaven all around us.  You see, during Mass heaven comes down to meet us in the Eucharist, we're surrounded by angels and Saints celebrating with us, we are ONE.  Today, it blew my mind; overcome by joy, listening to "Can You Imagine" sung by a young lady during the Eucharist procession, I was in heaven.  We are not limited by God, it is us who limits ourselves.  My soul was on fire, for love of Christ.  

The priest at Mass said that our existence is measured by our capacity to love.  How true. We have a very finite capacity, but with faith, trust, and prayer we can all ask God to increase our capacity; whatever you believe, you can ask for your capacity to love to increase.  My prayer after communion, given to me by a dear teacher of mine, I love you Lord, increase my capacity to love!

May you take time to dream today, can you imagine standing face to face with God? What will you say? What will you do? I can't wait to run up to him and give him the biggest hug ever, but I can only imagine.