Judas or Peter

Many of us are familiar with the Passion of Christ, in fact, I'm sure you've been told to choose a character and walk through the Passion in the eyes of that character.  I challenged my teens to do that this year, to choose a character and reflect on how they were feeling, what they were doing, what you would've done differently, how could you relate to them?  I took my own advice, which I unfortunately don't do enough, and chose a character.  I've done this before and I've chosen Mary Magdalene because I'm a sinful woman and thought I would have the most in common with her.  This year I thought it would be interesting to pick a different character in the Passion, as I believe that we can find similarities in each within ourselves.

This year I chose Judas.  It was a couple weeks ago when we were talking about this and I'm not sure why Judas was the one I chose, but I knew I felt as if God was pointing me towards him.  A couple nights ago I was watching the Passion Live on Fox (a modern day depiction of the Passion of Christ) and Judas' part came up, he sang a song called Demons.

That's when I saw it in Daughtry's eyes; despair, doubt, darkness.  He sang about it, and for the first time in a while I realized the darkness still in my heart.  We all have darkness within us, and we will until we pass from this earth, but it's what we do with that darkness that matters.  We have a choice, we always have a choice. Judas chose to betray Christ, every time we sin we choose to betray Christ.  Darkness has the ability to swallow us, except it doesn't happen all at once, but usually little by little.  Judas traveled with Christ for 3 years, he had light surrounding him, yet he couldn't fathom asking for help, he couldn't humble himself to know that in his brokenness Christ is working.  

If you're anything like me, I often got into spats of trouble.  When I did I remember trying to figure a way out of it (or to correct my wrongs) before the adults found out.  The older I got the harder it became to get myself out of trouble.  As I ponder Judas' feelings and reflections, I can sense the overwhelming feeling of being alone, of isolation; the thought that I'm just too far, I've done too much, or I can't forgive myself how could anyone forgive me. "All God needs to forgive you in the invitation, and we can extend it at any time" (Mark Hart).

You see it is not God who condemns us, it is ourselves; we have to learn to let go.  Christ tells us to love as he loves, this begins with loving ourselves.  We can't give what we don't have, and we can't forgive others if we don't learn to first forgive ourselves; to acknowledge our shortcomings, to acknowledge our weaknesses, and to realize that we can't do life on our own, and we don't have to!  This Easter I pray you realize the love Christ has for you, whether Gentile or Jew, Catholic or non believer, Judas or Peter, Christ didn't just die for those who believe in Him, he DIED for all!  The difference between Judas' betrayal and Peter's denial is that Peter recognized that he needed a Savior, may all of us Judas' realize we need a savior! May God's love and peace reign in your heart, may you surrender everything knowing that he will always give you so much more! 

                        

--Live Love--