Hope in the desert

Coronavirus and Jesus

Getting what I asked for…just a reflection

I don’t have an answer for many things, in fact, just when I think I have an answer I’m reminded through scripture that just because I thought it was going to be one way, it ends up a whole different way than I thought.  Please know that in no way am I asking for the virus, or that anyone else get the virus, but in the midst of all of this chaos I’m sharing my conversation and thoughts that I’ve shared with Jesus, with you.

Back in November, I went into the desert; like the actual desert in Arizona.  I felt like it was where the Lord was leading me in order for me to grow in my self awareness, my dependency on him, and my healing.  While I was preparing to leave, one of my many questions to Jesus was, how am I going to get through the day without you? You see, in my Catholic faith, I have the opportunity to go to Mass every day if I wanted to, and I do, because I want to; I want to be physically close with him, I want to see him, I want to talk with him.  I didn’t understand how going into the desert and not having (weekday) Mass was actually going to help my relationship with him, but it was in the desert that my relationship grew, mostly my dependence on him and my awareness of him constantly with me as he promises ‘I am with you always’.

The last six months of my life has been learning to ride the waves of life, learning how to breathe again, and walking in bravery each step of the way.  Most days it seems like I’m breathing underwater as I navigate this new life, but if there’s something the Lord continues to say it’s ‘I am here, Jess.’  You see I’ve been saying, I just need more time, I just want to breathe, I can do this self care thing if only I had this, if only I had that, if only I had the time to rest, eat well, exercise, be with friends - if only I had the time to ______ (you fill in the blank with the desired activity).  

Like many others, the COVID-19 brought a huge wave of anxiety and fear into my life. As the world comes to a halt I received a call that halted my world - something was wrong with my dad and I needed to get home right away.  I had a 7hr drive to get to where they were, which provides a lot of time and space for thinking, for singing, for processing.  It was then that I was hit with, “Jesus, what if this is the time we ALL continuously ask for.  What if this is the SPACE we need to distance ourselves in order to RECONNECT ourselves?”  It doesn’t look like the TIME OR SPACE that anyone would’ve imagined, but it’s here and it is now.  

Kids are out of school physically, but they’ve been launched into the school of love within their families - can we find the time to sit down and read with them (NO SMALL FEAT, trust me I sat down with the 9 y/o nephew on a sunny day to read, let’s just say I wasn’t his favorite)?  We’re worried about how to telecommute and in doing that what do I do for work, what does 8 hrs look like.  We’re worried, some of us honestly for the first time, about not going to Mass and receiving Jesus in the Eucharist, but every day we have an opportunity to receive him in our hearts through spiritual communion and yet fail to recognize him or pause long enough to.  Some of us may be worried where our next meal is coming from or where rent is coming from, can we humble ourselves to ask for help, because there are so many who want to help.

I, too am worried, and extremely sad, to not be able to receive Jesus in the Eucharist - but when I walked into the doctor’s office yesterday and passed a man on the bench without saying a word, my heart broke.  I realized I had just walked by like everyone else in his life.  Eddie, had been sitting on a bench waiting for someone to pick him up; for someone to celebrate his life, to see him, to know him (if only for a moment), and to celebrate the good news he’d just gotten from the doctor.  My mom almost slapped my hand when I shook his hand, because social distancing - which I’m not against, but tbh in that moment I completely forgot.  I saw this human, this man sitting there longing for love, and I thought how much I wanted him to be touched by Christ, to be held by Jesus, to know that no matter what he looks like or who he is, Jesus loves him and wants him.  Life is still moving along as the world comes screeching to a halt, but as we pivot into slow or no motion, are we paying attention?

So what if our TIME is now? And what if our SPACE is now? To reclaim all we wanted if only we had the time and if only we had the space. While I was in Arizona, it was the darkest (literally and figuratively) place I’ve been, and yet looking at the Catalina mountains it was the place my soul was able to sing “it is well”, it was the place where I felt most held, it was the place where God reached into my darkness and proved that He was there, He is here, and He will be with us always.

So you see, Jesus and I have been talking, and he’s showing me that I don’t have all the answers, but I can do the next right thing.  I can distance myself physically, but I can reach out via FaceTime, Zoom, or any other technology source.  I can ask for things like time and when it comes up be ok that it looks differently then I thought it would.   I can set boundaries and learn new boundaries.  I can adapt and overcome without compromising who I am or who he is, and so can you.  

May we find peace and healing in the great time of anxiety and chaos, and may we be the peace and healing others need to see in the world.  It was going to dad’s appointments (dad’s going to be ok), that I met Eddie.  It was reading with my nephew that I found he needed tenderness (not condemnation for being distracted), and more specifically I found my desire for others to be merciful with me in my finite abilities.  It is the desert that has reminded me of the capacity for beauty and for love.

Be still, be still and know that He is God and He is here.  

Missionary Life -- Yes and Amen

There’s a band that has been very pivotal in my missions year called “Housefires” and as I listen to them I thought it only appropriate that I finish my missions update with a quote from their song. “I will rest in your promises, my confidence is your faithfulness”.

My God, how wonderful he is.  Thank you very much from the bottom of my heart to the depths of his faithfulness.  Thank you for being with me on this journey; without you and God, this mission year wouldn’t have happened.

The past 3 months have been a delightful, painful, wonderful blur.  Some days I was rushing to catch my breath and many others were spent traveling to bring the gospel to the ends of the USA! I spent a month in California for summer camp (https://youtu.be/bIEyl1mM-hE) mentoring these crazy, amazing, wannabe saints some day – it was delightful and a hot mess all at the same time, but I loved every minute of it. Especially smashing idols in 4:42 of this video (https://youtu.be/R9iakmL4hFk) and watching the millennial priests getting real with the kids at 5:30, when he rocks his chucks at mass that match his vestments (https://youtu.be/4M8PvyDjDD40)

I, then went back to Covecrest for a few days before heading out to DC for a quick wedding and visit with my mom’s side of the family which was delightful.  The weekend after, I hopped out to Tucson, AZ to help out with Steubenville West with 2,000 teens coming together to hear about how God wanted to elevate their hearts, minds, and lives.  We flew back to Covecrest so I could spend 4 days with my old parish at camp before I went to Steubie NYC at St. John’s University in Queens.  After that I went back to Covecrest for the last 2 weeks of camp, helping out in the kitchen, or mowing the fields, or anywhere they needed an extra hand or two!  Over the summer I probably encountered over 4500 teens, Youth Ministers, parents, or Core Members.  To think that I thought it was a busy summer, might just have been an understatement! Haha PRAISE GOD though, he is faithful, he is HUGE, he is delightful, he is mine (and yours too, of course).

I know many of you have questions like what’s next or what does the future hold? Where will you go? What will you do? Well to be honest I’ve been hiding because I don’t have answers for you and that scared me haha  I didn’t want to let anyone down or disappoint you because I didn’t figure out what God wanted from me before I left missions.  I’ve exhausted many options, and many times the Lord has responded with “You could or you could wait for what I have for you”.  Many doors have also been closed, which is something new I’m seeing this year.  (Not that they haven’t closed in the past, but like someone pointed out to me, maybe I just wasn’t paying attention before J)!  If I learned anything, it’s that MY GOD IS FAITHFUL.  He has a plan for me, plan for me to prosper, plan for me to be blessed and a blessing to others.  So I am going to hit the pause button on trying to figure it out, I’m going to take a DEEEEEEEP breath (of some salty air too), and I’m going to rest in his faithfulness believing and delighting in his love for me!

Live Love

“I will rest in your promises, my confidence is your faithfulness”.

Missionary Life -- Mesi Bondye Mesi

“Jesus wants us to touch human misery, to touch the suffering flesh of others. He hopes that we will stop looking for those personal or communal niches which shelter us from the whirlpool of human misfortune and instead enter into the reality of other people’s lives and know the power of tenderness. Whenever we do so, our lives become WONDERFULLY COMPLICATED and we experience intensely what it is to be a people, to be part of a people.” Pope Frankie – Joy of the Gospel

My recent trip to Haiti showed me how the poorest country in the western hemisphere has everything they will ever need and how much I truly lack, they have love and they give love.  Without asking questions, Haitian culture takes in a stranger and feeds them even if they don’t have any food to give they will often give the food off of their own plate.  My favorite Haitian custom is that they GREET EACH AND EVERY PERSON that they pass.  A simple hello to a passing stranger, recognizing the dignity in the other person, man if I could explain how much my heart grows when that happens. 

We visited a prison in An Se Vau, a place where no human should ever have to live; an 8 x 8 cell with 35 grown men, in little to no clothing, sharing two 5-gallon buckets for water and bathroom.  One young man, 19 years old, had been there for 18 months because a cow that lived next door went missing.  He has yet to see a judge.  I was asked to share my story with the cell of teenage boys; my heart was full of love for them.  I told them of the time I was sitting in the same place (in America) as them.  How when I had made the dumbest decision in my life, God did not abandon me, but was in fact very close to me.  Scared and alone in my cell I cried out to our Lord.  I knew a glimpse of their pain and desolation.   I felt the gaze of Christ upon me.  I will never forget their eyes; their eyes pierced my soul as I shared my story with them.   I reached in to shake their hands, to touch Christ and they thanked me; little me, they thanked, in that moment again I could see the face of Christ.

Cathedral in An Se Vau

We ran around and played tag with kids off of the street, praised loud in the Cathedral at An Se Vau, we played soccer for hours, we went to many homes and visited with them, we went up to the Monastery and prayed with the Sisters, we prayed over Haiti on the roof we sang praises to God.  We visited the orphanage next door to the Monastery, and we were blessed (twice) by the head priest at the Monastery.  We talked, we prayed, we laughed and loved; we received far more than we could have ever given to the Haitian people.   For the longest time, seeing how scripture could come alive in my life was hard, when I visited Haiti the first time, I realized that scripture is not something of 2000 years ago, but is very much alive today.  My heart desires the simplicity of Haiti to be lived out in America; however, there is a people that I will visit often and always pray for.  Mesi Bondye Mesi – Thank you God Thank You.

Sitting in a coffee shop, typing this, my heart is full of love and joy.  In 2016, my word for the year was abundance.  As I prayed through last year before choosing a word, I remember tossing a few around.  When abundance appeared I knew God was calling me to trust him in a new way.  2016 has been filled with abundance; abundance of love, of mercy, of prayers, of confusion, of direction, of support, of healing, of hope, of trust, and of JOY.  My greatest desire is to love and be loved.  To be known is to be loved and to be loved is to be known -- to love as I have been loved; that each and every person whom I encounter may encounter Christ, knowing and praying that he alone can fulfill their deepest desires, wishes, hopes, dreams, and needs.  Love is very much a choice, one that I pray I can choose every second of every day.  I want to see others for their virtues not their faults, I want to touch their suffering hearts, giving them the truth that Christ desires to heal them, and setting the world on fire with the love of Christ.  There is no one to far from the reach of Christ.  If only we have the 20 seconds of insane courage to get outside of ourselves and put on the love of Christ for each person. 

Thank you very much for your generosity.  Thank you for joining me on this mission this year.  Thank you for believing that God has called me to something greater than I could ever imagine.  Thank you for wanting to serve God through your hearts and your finances.  Thank you for being you; you are always WELCOME with me, you are ENOUGH, and you are LOVED.  

JOIN THE MISSION NOW!!! donate.lifeteen.com/jcorsey

--Live Love--

Missionary Life -- God is good

It’s been a great month; jammed pack with adventures!I thought the best way to update everyone is with pictures.  Some of you follow me on social media so I apologize if you’re seeing these double, but I hope to give you a little snip into what each picture represents.  Let’s start with the chapel, this was taken before walking into morning prayer one day.  Every morning the missionaries rise and meet at the chapel for Holy Hour and then morning prayer.  This has truly been may favorite and most rewarding experience I have had while being at Covecrest; it’s not always easy to get up or stay awake, but it is filled with grace and Jesus.  I look forward to continuing to show up and train myself to begin each day with our Lord. 









Here's a reflection from one of my mornings that struck me to the core.  Living as Christ did, modeling gentleness, mercy, and love, is my deepest desire; that others my come to know Christ as they come to know me would mean I have lived as God desires me to.  A work in progress, but I'll take it!!! Praise God for his relentless love and mercy!

IHM Core team came for a retreat at St. Rita's that I was humbled to lead.  To serve and be served by them and their love was glorious, to see the Lord embrace each one of them in their own ways, enlightens how he is moving and working at Immaculate Heart of Mary!  It was a blessing to be showered with love from all my peeps and to shower them with the love of Christ!

We had the awesome opportunity and privilege to create, lead, and execute a middle school retreat for  St. John Neumann Catholic School.  God showed up in big ways, encountering the teens exactly where they were, calling them to know him and to be loved by him!  Our team included Rod, our leader, Kiernan, Sammy, Erin, and myself.  The video shows our teens on the last day, surrendering their desires to our Lord, trusting that he will make something beautiful out of him! My God is he wonderful!!!

If you know me, you know that staying out of trouble is a tad difficult at times ;) Here's a wonderful picture from my House Leader Erin! I may have sent her a picture of a silly card as we were looking for birthday cards for my roommate! What can I say, my mother is Madea! haha

Here's Mr. Rogers! He's one of our local dudes that we go to see.  He's been in Clayton his entire life.  Jorge (a fellow missionary and Men's House Leader) and I went to visit him last weekend.  We talked with him and his friend Jim for about an hour.  They have been friends since they were in 4th grade, over 60 years.  I enjoyed hearing the stories about the old days, driving around town, drive-in movies (which is still in Clayton), and picking up the ladies of course!! haha We called to visit him today, but he wasn't feeling well, please keep him in your prayers! 








Most of you know that I've been trying to go through Holy doors in whatever city I visit, Atlanta was no different.  Mondays are our Sabbath days, so this past Monday I thought it'd be great to go exploring in Atlanta.  I drove to the Basilica in hopes of going through the Holy Door of Mercy, turns out it's a holy window of mercy trying to catch the times that it is actually open.  For those of you who don't know what a door of mercy is; Pope Francis declared this year as a Year of Mercy, in which he opened doors of mercy throughout the world, in hopes that EVERYONE who enters may know God's mercy is for all.  No one is too far gone for God, sometimes the hardest thing to do when seeking forgiveness is opening the door.  These doors help us to recognize that when we seek mercy we will receive it, no questions asked.  {short and simple explanation if you have questions feel free to email me} So anyways, the door was locked, I waited for someone to come out and I walked it! About 30 minutes later I got kicked out...but it's all good!

We were able to go be missionaries at a College Soccer game in Young Harris, Georgia.  It was a great night getting off camp and talking to some of the Women's soccer players hanging around watching the guys game!  Isn't it fantastic how well God knows exactly what we need and when! This game was a last minute decision that we were allowed to go to! Praise God!

Thursday I launched Middle Schoolers on our zipline for 4 hours!  To chat with them for a few minutes about how they're doing is great, their honesty is admiring!

Lake Burton, 5 minutes from camp....God's beauty surrounds me! 

Another home visit with one of our local neighborhood peoples and most of Joy House is present (Alice green shirt my roommate, Sammy in blue head down, Joslyn hiding behind Alice, and Erin with a beautiful smile!!)

Life is good, God is great, and I am humbled by your support, generosity and prayers!!! Thank you thank you, thank you.  You're in my prayers!!! 

--Live Love

If you'd like to become a Mission Partner, do so today @ donate.lifeteen.com/jcorsey It's because of you that these stories happen!!!

Missionary Life -- Piece by Piece

Piece by Piece – The King of My Heart

Thank you for this incredible opportunity to fall in love with Christ every day; because of your generosity, God has poured out his grace, love, and mercy in abundance and has completely overflowed my heart.  Coming into Full Time Missions, I was prepared to be Martha (Luke 10:38-42) to work and pour out what I thought was Jesus into all of those people I encountered so they may encounter Christ.  Little did I know that God would call me to be Mary, to sit at his feet and receive his love.  There is a season for everything and the Lord is very clear that I am in a season of receiving; receiving his healing for wounds that I thought were already healed or forgiven, receiving his knowledge of how intertwined our lives are with the lives of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and that he is a God who keeps his promises, and receiving the Holy Spirit who is like water seeking the depths of our souls to purify and love us in the most intimate and profound ways.  LITTLE DID I KNOW HE WANTED MY HEART, he wants me!

Praise God for his providence and vision that he can see clearer than we can and is much more patient than we will ever be.  Praise God for each one of you who felt the call to join in the mission of winning souls, thank you for believing in the love God has for you and me.

Let me give you the highlights of the glory God is giving and receiving through Life Teen Full Time Missions.  We’ve had some pretty great teachers over the last couple of weeks.  Starting with Stephen Estes, Director of Life Teen Missions, we spent an intense 4 days going over Missionary Spirituality and the call to be a missionary with Redemptoris Missio by St. John Paul 2.  His love for the Lord shines through his teaching, his enthusiasm to lead and guide us to see how God has called each of us individually into a bigger mission (Life Teen) is incredible, and his childlikeness shows his vulnerability and strength as a leader.  We are blessed to have him.  Next up, we had an awesome lady named Kristin come to us for 3 days to speak about prayer.  We dove deep into the different ways to pray, the gifts that God wishes to continue to pour out through prayer, and ways to discern the different times in our lives and how to maintain prayer throughout it all.  Lastly, we were rocked by a fantastic priest from the Servants of Christ Jesus, Fr. John Ignatius.  This quote summarizes how he knocked us out the last 5 days of Missionary Academy: “It is my great privilege to introduce them to the depth where God spiritually envisions them” Fr. John Ignatius. 

PRAISE GOD!!!! Words can’t do these two weeks justice; I’m beyond grateful and glowing that God loves me more than I can ever imagine. The God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, the God of Jacob is pursuing me and you…are you ready?! Blessed be God!! THANK YOU!

Glassy Mountain -next to Covecrest- Home

--Live Jesus--

Missionary Life -- Welcome Home

Welcome Home!!!

One of the greatest phrases to hear when you've been out traveling, when you've had a long day or week at work, when you're exhausted, when you've missed loved ones, or when you're looking for a place of rest, of comfort, of peace. Home is a place that I searched for throughout my life, being a military child I moved around A LOT, being an adult I still haven't quite found my niche.  About 6 years ago, God revealed I had been home all along when I encountered him in the Eucharist; it was my only constant in a transitional life.  It's only fitting that 'Welcome Home' is the first thing you hear when you step foot on Camp Covecrest, especially as you step into the service of our God as a Full Time Missionary!!!  

Covecrest is my new home; a place for me to encounter Christ face to face in the Eucharist and the community, a place of refuge, a place of healing, a place of sharing, a place of joy!  You'll hear a lot about Joy House, as it is the location on camp where I will be residing! There will be many tears and laughs shared I'm sure with plenty of JOY.  My hope is to keep you connected through this blog, through pictures, stories, the ways God is being glorified in our lives and the lives of everyone we serve, and everything else in between.  I'm very encouraged and excited by all he is doing and all he will do, my heart is overflowing with an abundance of love; I believe if it could burst, it would! Thank you for being a part of this journey, thank you for being a part of my life.  

Day 1 -- Arrive, move into Joy House, Dinner with Community, unpacking, night prayer! It was a wonderful day getting to meet and see new faces, not gonna lie though a little bit nerve-racking, all the same I look forward to journeying with everything this year! 

Day 2 – Mass/Morning prayer, Holy Hour, pray over guys as they head out for camping trip, unpack and hang out with the ladies.    

<---One of the greatest lessons I learned at Immaculate Heart of Mary was who I am and more importantly whose I am, because of that I can learn to be that well.  This hangs in my room as a daily reminder to always be true to myself in order that I may be who God is calling me to be! The very best me!!

Day 3 – With the guys still away on their “men’s retreat” us ladies headed up for our first hike of the year.  We went to visit Angel Falls; it’s about a mile hike to the water fall (pictured) and how about God’s glory and imagination in that! Brillance, pure brillance!  It’s also a feast day of Mary, her birthday in fact.  It’s a good thing too, because as we were hiking up we passed a snake.  We all know what she did to snakes, so the girls and I were ok! Well off I go for our first retreat, but first we will go to Mass to pray for all of you and thank Mary for her yes!!! I hope you’ll follow along this journey has me on, falling more in love with him every day! Praise God! Peace my friends until the next time!! 

 “When you know how much God is in love with you then you can only live your life radiating that love.” – St. Teresa of Calcutta

--Live Love--
Join me on mission --> donate.lifeteen.com/jcorsey

Missionary Life - I said Yes!

 “ A thief comes only to steal and slaughter and destroy; I came so that they might have life and have it more abundantly.” John 10:10

This is a lot harder than I thought it would be, sitting down to tell everyone that I’ve made the choice to become a Full Time Missionary with LifeTeen.  God has been on a constant pursuit of my heart, since before I was born and throughout my childhood I’m sure, but even surer am I that he has been pursuing me these last 7 years.  A lot has changed, I hit rock bottom, went to grad school (ECU), taught PE for a year (Northern VA), got a certificate in youth ministry, been a full time Youth Minister for the Catholic Church (High Point, NC) for the past 3 years while coaching Crossfit for the last year.  I realize that every day is different, yet the same and God is more concerned about the conversion of my heart than he is about using me to convert the heart of others.  Everyone has a story, but not everyone can see how God is a part of their story. 

In the fall, I will be leaving High Point, NC to become a missionary with LifeTeen in the mountains of Georgia.  I will leave my job, friends, and family to pursue Christ; to pursue his heart in hopes that he will continue to overflow my heart with his love.  I couldn’t be more ecstatic that I have been chosen to continue to impact the lives of teens through prayer and service, leading retreats and living in community.  I went on a Come-and-See weekend in April and on the last day in the chapel God asked me; will you let me love you?  In true Jessie fashion, I simply giggled and said you already do.  I could feel him shaking his head at me and say I’m going to ask you again, will you let me love you?  Yes, of course Lord.  He replied, this is how I want to show you the depths of my love, full time missions. 

You see for me, receiving love is one of the hardest things to do.  I believe with every ounce of my being that we are called to love, but how can we give something we can't receive?   A gift isn't a gift until it is given away.  God gave us his only Son in the Eucharist; today on the feast of the Body and Blood of Christ, we celebrate this fact.  In the Eucharist we receive Christ's love, nourishment, encouragement, strength, and grace to carry us on our journey.  The ultimate sacrifice is to lay down one's life for his friends, Christ does that and leaves his body/blood so that we may always be with him until it time for us to go to heaven.  Praise God!  My word for the year is abundance.  God has shown me nothing but abundance since this year has begun; an abundance of healing, abundance of love, abundance of travel, and he is asking me to continue to trust his abundance, how can I say no? 

St. Stephen's Chapel 

Covecrest, GA

"See, I am doing something new! Now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? In the wilderness, I make a way, in the wasteland, rivers." Isaiah 43:19

--Live Love--